First, to disable the alarm. You gotta find your valet switch. Its usually accessible to the driver but hidden somewhere. Check your fuse box or kick panel or anywhere in the interior for that switch. It looks like the one in the following link.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...m=180061875461
Once you find it:
1. insert your key in the ignition and turn it to the ON position. Dont crank the starter. In the ON/ignition position, all of your dash lights come on.
2. press that valet switch one time and release. Your alarm should be disabled now. Should be because most people dont set that switch the way its intended to be used. If that doesnt help, you may have to take your car in to anywhere that installs DEI products. They will probably charge you at least $30 bucks for the first 30 minutes of labor.
There is also a way to reset or clear the remote. First, try pressing the lock button on the remote several times until it responds. If its not responding to any input at all. Then you have to use that magic valet switch in your car again.
1. Open a door in the car.
2. Turn your key to the on position.
3. Press the valet button twice and hold it down on the second button press.
4. Press the lock button on your remoteand release.
5. you should here your siren chirp or go full blast momentarilly, I cant remember.
6. Let go of the valet switch and turn off the ignition. You will here the siren do one more full blast.
7. The remote should work. If it still doesnt work, PM me and explain in absolute detail what happen and I'll try to assist you further. Goodluck
I feel confused now too. 
Just ignore all the crap about finding the valet switch and try everything else.
